k9ELives

Against The Move Toward Unispecies

2007-04-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

I am appalled by the ongoing human endeavors to eliminate the distinctions between them and us. It is one thing for them to favor unisex apparel for themselves. It is quite another matter for them to advocate for a uni-species like it was some form of one-world church or one-world economic system. It isn’t that we don’t recognize the perks associated with being loved by our own individual humans. We most certainly do appreciate being fed and housed and stroked and played with– I for instance, have recently begun to excel at tennis ball hockey with my youngest male human. It is the indiscriminate human bias that assumes that we want to be equal with them that I protest. I hardly think that Hisal wants the burden of human money enough to be stripped of his identity as a chimpanzee. Nor do I think that it is in the best interest of many of us pets to take out humanesque health insurance plans, buy burial plots, arrange for cremation, or amass boxes of necklaces, boots, coats, and diamond studded collars. What do you think?

Arf,

Saxby

Eulogy to Martyred Squirrels

2007-03-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

Thousands of American squirrels have been martyred in the effort to deprive the humans of electricity. In fact, humans recently recognized that squirrels cause more electrical outages than lightening. Electricity is that substance that mysteriously flows through cords both inside the human houses and outside, strung from poll to poll outside. Electricity is used as an invisible means to restrict the free range of pets and animals of all species. It is the ingredient in the new “invisible fences” as well as in the collars which buzz and deliver severe pain at the whim of some human wielding a “controller.” Farm animals and zoo animals which innocently bump up against their cages or the pastures in which they are incarcerated have been known to experience the same sort of sudden shocking pain. Humans find other reasons to channel electricity into their houses– it powers the television, which is a known cause for the loss of human interest in going for walks. Electricity also enables the roar of the dreaded vacuum cleaner. The squirrels who have accepted the suicide mission to bite through electrical wires are true martyrs. More than 16,750 squirrels died during 2006 in Georgia alone in the courageous attempt to deprive humans of electricity. They were brave and talented beasts indeed. They should be memorialized and eulogized.

Painted Fish and Felines

2007-03-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

A recent human trend defaces the natural beauty of certain fish with the injected dyes of a tattoo. Unfortunately, there have been some fish fatalities as a result. Probably the humans don’t think it of any consequence since these fish can be replaced at various pet stores for only a few dollars. For the fish, on the other hand, the human intervention may not only cause pain, suffering, and the equivalent of a bad hair- should I say bad scale- day, it may mess with the message being emitted to prospective mates. I thought this was the epitome of human insensitivity to us animals until I became aware of the content of a certain forwarded email showing photographs of painted cats!!! These sorry looking felines matched their human captors- one cat was painted in a navy blue and green tartan plaid design to match a man's kilt; one had a clown painted up its butt underneath its proudly swaying tail. Another was painted to look like a peacock feather- talk about gender confusion- this is appalling! It seems to be a phenomenon most commonly associated with the human species. The unfortunate truth is that since humans have the most flexible abilities and the most devious/deviant motives, no animal species is guaranteed safety if it pleases the humans and if they have the funds required. Painting a cat, according to this email, costs a mere $15,000 and lasts only three months before needing to be repeated.

Little In Stinked

2007-01-27T15:23:00.001-08:00

My human’s grandmother used to tell a little story about a family of skunks that reminds me of the plight of one California skunk who found a nice dry hiding hole in the back of an 18-wheeler truck and ended up in Toronto, Canada, on January 1.

Little In and Little Out were skunk youngsters. One day they went out to play and when it was time for supper and Mama skunk called, Little Out was the only skunk who came. Mama Skunk waited but she didn’t want to wait too long because she didn’t want the lovely dinner to get cold.
“Go out and find Little In, Little Out,” said Mama Skunk. “Look in all of Little Out’s hiding holes and then bring Little Out in for supper.”
“Yes, Mama,” Little Out said making sure to shut the door carefully without banging it on the way.
It took Little Out no time at all to find Little In and pretty soon both skunk youngsters were wiping their paws carefully on the mat before tracking in the mud from outside.
“Little Out,” said Mama Skunk, “you are amazing. How did you find Little In so quickly?”
“It was easy, Mama,” said Little Out. “Little In stinked.”

What made getting home quickly for Little In is probably the reason that the Toronto Wildlife Center is having trouble finding some human to give the California skunk a ride back home.

So, you may wonder, why can’t the California skunk just find a new home in Canada? Humans are picky about borders between countries, you know. According to Wojtek Dabrowski of Toronto Reuters, it is against the law to release a foreign skunk into the wild in Canada. It might precipitate a “skunk fight.”

Little In Stinked

2007-01-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

My human’s grandmother used to tell a little story about a family of skunks that reminds me of the plight of one California skunk who found a nice dry hiding hole in the back of an 18-wheeler truck and ended up in Toronto, Canada, on January 5.

Little In and Little Out were skunk youngsters. One day they went out to play and when it was time for supper and Mama skunk called, Little Out was the only skunk who came home. Mama Skunk waited but she didn’t want to wait too long because she didn’t want the lovely dinner to get cold.
“Go out and find Little In, Little Out,” said Mama Skunk. “Look in all of Little Out’s hiding holes and then bring Little Out in for supper.”
“Yes, Mama,” Little Out said, making sure to shut the door carefully without banging it on the way.
It took Little Out no time at all to find Little In and pretty soon both skunk youngsters were wiping their paws carefully on the mat before tracking in the mud from outside.
“Little Out,” said Mama Skunk, “you are amazing. How did you find Little In so quickly?”
“It was easy, Mama,” said Little Out. “Little In stinked.”

What made getting home quickly for Little In is probably the reason that the Toronto Wildlife Center is having trouble finding some human to give the California skunk a ride back home.

So, you may wonder, why can’t the California skunk just find a new home in Canada? Humans are picky about borders between countries, you know. According to Wojtek Dabrowski of Toronto Reuters, it is against the law to release a foreign skunk into the wild in Canada. It might precipitate a “skunk fight.”

Don't be deceived into taking any new diet pills for dogs

2007-01-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

First the humans use food to make us do the most absurd tricks- roll over, play dead, speak- then, they sneak us snatches of sirloin under the table or leave the butter just near enough the end of the counter to snag when stretched out balanced on the hind legs just so. Then they decide that we can't go anywhere without a leash in public so unless, like me, you are vigilant when the door is opened by a guest, you never get to run free for hours on end exploring smells and tastes that appear to revolt all humans except for the youngest of the male variety. So, no wonder we are lethargic and tend towards pudginess underneath our fur. Now they are attempting to convince us to prefer "natural food" that still looks like petrified sausage pellets devoid of the fun of the chase. To top it all off, did you hear that Pfizer, the human pharmaceutical company that makes some kind of "purple pill" has concocted a pill for overweight dogs called Slentrol. It, like every other such remedy, has some notable side effects: vomiting, diarrhea, lethargy..... but, it will deceive a dog into thinking that it is full so that the dog will eat less and lose weight. The American human Food and Drug Administration approved it Friday, January 5, 2007. My human scorns such things. I understand that there are thousands of people in Rwanda, (my human cares about a certain area of that country) who don't have enough food to make them think they are full ever. I would like to invite other pets to subscribe to my K9Lives Club monthly enewsletter- it's a mere $15.95 a year- way less than a pet-purple-pill prescription or a bag of organic dog food. A percentage of each subscription will be used to provide goats and chickens- not for the Rwandans to eat (perish the thought!)- for the fertilizer, wool, and eggs these amazing animals produce. Animals, let's unite to make a global impact. How do you subscribe to my K9Lives Club monthly enewsletter?- it's easy- get your human to click on my picture at www.teamlesley.com.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

Sing For Your Supper?

2006-12-29T18:31:00.000-08:00

I have been insulted at times early in the morning on a hot summer day by a piercingly shrill red feathered cardinal who resents my presence- imagine that! My response is to raise my pointed ears and point my snout meaningfully in the direction of the loud-mouth. My human, on the other hand, appreciates birds of all sorts for their song. It is interesting to listen to the way the birds relate in the morning- a squirrel doesn't seem to bother them in the least bit but a cat or another dog makes such a titter resound from tree to tree. I read this week of another species who sings.

According to Charles Q. Choi of Livescience.com, gibbons- small apes of the southeast Asian rain forest- sing whenever a leopard or other enemy approaches. Now these apes live in the trees but they don't climb higher and away to avoid the enemy. Instead they sing and get closer and closer up to between 15 and 30 feet away. The humans have been able to record the gibbons singing. They analyzed a total of 7 distinct notes that the gibbons use to communicate in song. Apparaently the first 10 notes of any song indicates its significance.

I suppose gibbons are more like bluejays than cardinals. My human had a cat once, who upon slinking around beneath a tree in which a pair of bluejays had a nest, became the target of divebombing bluejays. The poor cat needed antibiotics to deal with the puncture.

I am not a singing dog but I have heard that some dogs do sing at times.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

I'm looking for pet friendly businesses

2006-12-19T17:23:00.000-08:00

Do you have a favorite pet-friendly business to recommend to other pets? Hopefully the January 17 edition of the K9Lives Monthly will feature businesses. I understand that quite a few of the stores on Burlington, Vermont's Church Street have dog bone signs in the window. This indicates that leashed pets are welcome inside with their humans. Do you know such a store or restaurant? Where is it? What does it sell? Have you been there? What was your experience? It's easy to post a comment to this blog- and, unless the comment contains material that is not family-friendly or relevant, my human will publish it.

Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

On Human Loyalty

2006-12-10T15:20:00.000-08:00

It just isn't right! Now the Department of Defense is training honeybees to sniff out bombs by offering them sugar water as a reward. I thought that was a dog's job! But, I suppose, like any job, if a human can get someone else to do the same job for less money.....it doesn't matter who gets the boot. How disloyal of the humans! Wait! The Associated Press article, "Bees have a nose for bombs," which was published in the St. Louis Post Dispatch, Saturday, December 9, concluded by saying that the bees are not reliable enough to be made solely responsible for this task. So, dogs are still necessary. Wonderful. I am relieved.

Hey! a membership in my club: K9 Lives Club For Pampered Pets of All Species is a great Christmas gift for humans who really really really like animals- or for pampered pets who need a present that will be truly meaningful. Try going to www.teamlesley.com and clicking on my picture. Then you can buy the gift online- you'll get a great certificate of membership for your pet and my newsletter e-mailed on the 17th of each month. Don't forget: I'm the dog.

Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

I want to be a mascot

2006-11-26T14:02:00.000-08:00

Every year the Humane Society sponsors an event in St. Louis called Bark in the Park. It happens in Forest Park which is the main greenspace on the west side of the city. My human tells me that this park has a lot of history too. It was the location of the 1904 World's Fair - but that wasn't so good for us canines- the fact is, a lot of us dogs got eaten during that fair which is one of the explanations for how the neighborhood known as Dogtown got its name. The 1904 Olympics were at Forest Park too. The police horses live there and the zoo is there too so lots of animals call the place home today including the occasional homeless dog and cat. Anyway, there's a contest for the mascot of the 2007 Bark in the Park contest and I just entered. So, if I make the next cut, I'll be hoping you'll vote for MEEEEEE!! I'll keep you posted. By the way, I'm still looking for letters from or about classroom animals to feature them in the December edition of K9 Lives Monthly.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

Vegan Lions?????

2006-11-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

This puma lives in a Chilean zoo that feeds its carnivores meat. My human's friend, Napoleon's human, got to pet the puma before some other person took this picture. It is a good thing that this puma does not live in a certain zoo in China. Let me tell you why I feel so strongly about this. Every so often my human runs out of the food that I know and love and I get fed some other brand- but, at least it is dog food. What I would do if my human decided to eliminate meat from my diet because some animal nutritionist decided that vegetarian dogs would be healthier, I cannot say! Imagine attempting to make vegan dogs! Not this dog! Never! It isn't such a far-fetched fear, either. Today chinadaily.com reported that the lions, tigers, and other carnivorous animals at the Guangzhou Zoo are being switched over to a vegetarian diet on the advice of some animal nutritionists- for their health! Hmm. When the animals get listless and their fur starts to fall out, will the humans change their approach again? Or, will the animals just decide that zookeeper meat is better than no meat- I wouldn't want to be the one in those cages holding the bowl of lettuce.
Respectfully submitted,
Saxby

Olympic Search and Rescue Dogs

2006-11-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

In 2008 the Olympic Games will be in Beijing, China. Many projects in that city are being done to get ready to host the whole world there. Even the Chinese dogs are being drafted to help with the event. A whole team of dogs has been recruited and now they are being trained to search for and rescue humans if they needed it. This morning, the BBC News showed pictures on television of dogs climbing huge steps like some high-rise staircase. Other dogs had to climb up a vertical chain link fence- my human had a dog who could do that about 20 years ago, I'm told. Other dogs had to jump through a ring of fire. I don't think I could do that! What if my tail dragged its fur through the flame. Ouch! It takes 60 days for the dogs to be trained well enough to partner with a human team of fire fighters according to the October 16 edition of newkerala.com. I'm impressed and it makes my canine heart go pit-pat with pride as I learn about the talent and the dedication of my species. Are you a pet with a special talent? Let's hear about it on this blog.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

Of chipmunks and penguins

2006-11-03T10:41:00.000-08:00

I spent the morning on guard at the den door while a large rusty colored chipmunk passed back and forth in front of the glass. On the trip east he scurried quickly, but on the return trip west he periodically paused to assure himself that no preditors were enroute. In his mouth he carried a large brown acorn. My curiosity was marginal, a protective, nurturing impulse quite unlike the wild arousal a larger more toothsome squirrel engenders in me. It made me think about the Maremma dog who has been assigned guard duty on the Warrnambool's Middle Island, which is located in Victoria, Australia. Not only is the Maremma's promotion a privilege and an honor, it should prevent strays and foxes from preying on the local penguins and shearwater birds during the mating season. As long as the Maremma feels towards the birds as I do towards the chipmunk, all will be well. Assuming that the Maremma acquits himself successfully, without a hint of feathers on his muzzle, a puppy will be specially trained to take over full time so that the penguin population can increase from its dwindling current density of 29 members. I wish him well and only hope that his duty does not cause him to fall into disrepute among the local canine leadership.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

A Seeing Eye Dog and a Fur-free cat

2006-10-31T07:49:00.000-08:00

This is Napoleon, my friend, a Seeing Eye Dog whose human is a missionary in Chile. You can read my interview with Napoleon at www.teamlesley.com- click on my picture next to the link to the K9Lives Club for Pampered Pets of All Species. Then open the sample club newsletter. The newsletter includes all kinds of information about service animals- horses, dogs, and a parrot! Members in my elite club receive a certificate of membership and a subscription to an informative e-newsletter that will be delivered to your email box monthly on around the 17th day of the month. A percentage of my club's revenues collected between October 17 and November 16, 2006 will be given to The Seeing Eye.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

P.S. Today, at my veterinarian's office, I became introduced to a cat named Harry. He was a most amazing looking animal- totally lacking in fur! Apparently he was specially bred to be fur-free. What do you think of that?

World Series

2006-10-29T17:59:00.000-08:00

My human must have lost her mind. She appears to believe that those little red-tufted loud-mouth red birds- cardinals- obtained some sort of victory over a group of tigers. She took the kids to a parade that was led by the famous Clydesdale horses pulling a carriage. At least they were real horses. The most sober passenger on top of the carriage was the dalmatian. (My kind of hero!) He was not dressed in red like one poor labrador in the crowd. Do the humans really believe that putting on a costume can turn them into an animal? I am talking about that Fred Bird, you know. But, we animals can't be expected to understand human behavior, right? Think about it- humans pick up the strangest things from the ground- today my human picked up pieces of red, white, and blue confetti at the parade. Usually I only notice her picking up after me. I am getting quite concerned for her sanity, really.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

Compassion For Crocodiles

2006-10-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

At last the cold has come and the trees are shaking down their crackling leaves. My fur is full and it pleases me to smell the wind or to tuck my sensitive black nose under my tail for warmth. But, when I hear about the plight of some 4,000 crocodiles in Thailand, I shudder and wonder how one beast is privileged and loved while others, deprived of freedom, must suffer the profound indignity of being moved from their watery home just to prevent fear among humans. Now, I know how to instill fear in humans by the use of my gruffest growel and loud, incessant barks! I especially engender respect from the adult males of the human species since I am more tolerant of and gentle towards the females. But, however fearsome a crocodile appears to be is no excuse for humans to render them unconscious through the use of electric shock treatment just to tie their snouts, legs, and tails so they can be dumped in boats and removed from their home. Imagine the psychological damage this must inflict among the younger crocodiles especially since it took an army of 60 humans to relocate the whole group! It took me ages to relinquish my unreasonable puppyish fear of the dumpster! It makes me deeply aware of the crocodilian pain. It is even more a source of anguish to read that these crocodiles are being kept for their skins and meat. What a dark future! Now, I don't mind giving up my fur to be spun into dog-wool so that a human can benefit from my warmth but I would bite anyone who attempted to remove my skin.
Respectfully Submitted,
Saxby

Let Sleeping Dogs and Tortoises Lie!

2006-10-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

You've heard it said, no doubt, "Let sleeping dogs lie,"- good advice- especially for those shorter humans that seem so very attracted to our tails and eyes. (I've heard that their fascination is also aimed at cats) Well, the point is that sleep is important to us dogs as it is also, I imagine, for the pampered tortoises in Scotland. These pets are expected to sleep for a full 20 weeks- now, dogs and cats would protest such an expectation as absurd and impossible to fulfill. We need our appetites satisfied in order to get the full benefit of our rest! Well, the tortoise pets aren't just allowed to peacefully rumble round and round until their tails get tucked in just so before lying down blissfully for their naps. No! They must first suffer the indignity of a physical examination at a free clinic of the Edinburgh Royal School of Veterinary Studies according to BBC News today. I wonder what will happen to them if they are found to be infected with pneumonia or mouth ulcers.... As for being checked for anorexia, in my opinion, that should occur following the hibernation, not prior to it. I won't lose much sleep worrying about it, however. Respectfully Submitted - Saxby

What would you do if your human came home with a pet lion?

2006-10-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

It will be sad for people who are used to driving along Interstate 44 near Springfield, Missouri, now because the Exotic Animal Paradise had to close. Sad for the people but what about the 450animals who have lived there since it opened in 1971 and now have to be sold? Todd C. Frankel of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, 10/13/2006, that it is expected that the lions will bring $2,500 at the auction and the zebras will bring $14,000 each. Would you want your human to come home with a new lion? What can they be thinking! Being a pampered pet is one thing, and a very important thing at that, but being an exotic pet might be a bit more challenging. I did some research and discovered what some exotic pets cost. Ostriches cost between $350-600. A male peacock costs between $85-200. A young male reindeer costs $325- watch out Rudolph! An olive baboon costs $1500 and a pot bellied pig costs between $50-175. Hmm, have you ever seen an animal with a wallet? Some human thinking is a bit peculiar to my mind. Anyone care to comment?
Thoughtfully Submitted,
Saxby

Oh, by the way, the K9Lives Pampered Pet Club For All Species invites you to join by going to http://teamlesley.com/k9LivesClub.htm (the address is case sensitive) AND the first edition of K9Lives Monthly will be emailed to all members in good standing on the 17th of each month beginning in October.

Humans seem to be becoming more sensitive of us animals

2006-10-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

I am fairly certain that my human will continue to care for me for my entire life but, that is not apparently so for chimpanzees who have retired from careers in laboratories where humans use them for scientific research. The United States legislature was forced to become involved and pass the CHIMP Act of 1998 for "Chimpanzee Health Improvement, Maintenance, and Protection." Today Judy Bergeron, of www.2theadvocate.com, reported on a marvelous retirement facility for chimpanzees that is located on 200 acres of wooded land in Keithville, Louisiana. The Chimp Haven residents have regular meals, recreational opportunities, and even painting classes. Although the humans who work for the chimpanzees seem to be very respectful, they are sponsoring a photo contest for other humans next Saturday. I just hope that the photographers are as careful as Elena Comens, the Weston, Florida, portrait photographer who was featured in today's MiamiHerald.com. Reporter, Jennifer Mooney Piedra, wrote about how Ms. Comens even provides bones for her canine subjects to place them at ease prior to doing the photo shoot. It's about time that the humans among us became more sensitive to our needs, don't you agree?

Do you have zoonoses?

2006-10-06T19:38:00.000-07:00

I am sure that I do not have zoonoses. I am perfectly healthy and, besides, I have had all of my shots. But, Amy Ellis Nutt's article with the Newhouse News Service today says that our humans need to watch out that they don't get a zoonoses from one of us. Apparently pampered pets can carry diseases that humans can catch. Ms. Nutt says that rodent pets carry up to 50 zoonoses; primate pets carry up to 28 zoonoses, and reptiles carry 16. I'm glad that she did not mention canines or felines. Apparently it is the exotic varieties that are causing the most fear among human authorities in the United States. In addition to the millions of exotic pets that are legally imported to the United States each year, many more are smuggled in. I suppose that is the reason for all the rules about traveling with pets. Did you know that if your human wants to take you on an airplane trip even without leaving the country, first you have to get a cerificate of health from your veterinarian who will probably advise your human to withhold food from you for 12 hours before the trip. How would your human like it if the roles were reversed? I am signing this with my very own mark so you know it is my opinion.
Sincerely, Saxby

Would your human buy a "hypo-allergenic" cat?

2006-10-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

I want you to meet Mrs. Brown, the sharp-toothed, rear-clawed feline member of my extended family who visits from time to time when her human entertains others who suffer from allergies to cats. I assure you that she does not appreciate having to be uprooted from her wonderful home and dragged over here where she is restricted to a suite of rooms on the second floor and prevented from socializing with me. However, I believe that even Mrs. Brown would prefer her temporary discomfort to the fate predestined for some of her species as described by Elisabeth Rosenthal in the International Herald Tribune today (10/5/2006). A biotechnology company in San Diego, Allerca, is taking orders for specially bred cats who lack the ability to make Fel d 1, the protein that causes most human cat allergies. At least Allerca cares about the altered cats because they make sure that the humans who procure them will be the sort who will definitely pamper! The company charges $4,000 for the service and it requires advanced orders in the U.S. of between 12 and 15 months. Would your human buy a genetically manipulated cat? Do you think this is right? Let me hear from pets everywhere on this very important ethical matter that could impact all of us if we ignore it.

Who is the most talented animal in films?

2006-10-03T18:48:00.000-07:00

How many of you pets would like to be in a movie? Today several newspapers around the U.S. reported that one talent agency, Hollywood Paws, is being sued because one of its dog clients didn't get any auditions. Do you think that's fair? They do special training in media skills for pets and they require their dog actors to be certified as good citizens by the American Kennel Clubs. Who do you think the best animal film star of all times is? I'm hoping to hear from lots of pampered pets of all species and kinds. Don't forget to put your picture on your comment. Thanks awfully! -- Saxby

Seeking Travel Tips for Dogs by Dogs

2006-10-01T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends,
Life is looking better and better for all of us American dogs! Statistics prove it. Since 2003 the number of pet friendly hotels in the United States has increased by 28% according to the AAA of Texas and an amazing 70 million US households include at least one of us pets. See what I mean! Have any of you dog readers had the chance to visit the K-9 Bark Park at the Reno airport? Apparently it is very well designed to give us all the necessary amenities without inconveniencing our humans in the least. If you've been there, how about posting a short description of your experience. Also, does anybody know a good Bed & Biscuit that they could recommend to travelers? Be specific about what you liked and where it is! Thanks.
Looking to enrich the world for Pampered Pets everywhere, Signing off-- Saxby

Greetings and Salutations

2006-09-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

Greetings and Salutations,

After several prolific years as a letter writer, I have decided to begin a blog. As you can see, I, personally, am a member of the canine species but I welcome any other representative of the animal kingdom to post replies, questions, photographs, and suggestions. The first edition of K9 Lives Monthly is coming soon. A publication of Team Lesley's Store, this tongue-in-cheek pet news round-up and feature magazine for Pampered Pets will be like no other e-newsletter in existence. Do you have a story idea that you would like to see covered?